I GOT IT, God
He's GOT the whole world in HIs hands.
So a few years back, after avoiding her for some time, I finally went to see her AND told her the truth.
When she saw me, she came from behind her desk and hugged me tight. We both cried. No words, just flat out cried right there in her office.
Before she could give me that easy out, that part about, "I know that you are really busy...", I stopped her and acknowledged, "No, it's not that I was so busy, it's that I have been really sad. I am disappointed that God did not answer our prayer for your baby as we desired. I just knew that He was going to do it...like I knew how desperately you wanted a baby, I knew that it could be a testament to your family....I knew so much about your situation and man, I felt like a victory in the healing of your precious baby would be huge on so many levels...
And so when you called, with all of the hurt and sadness in your voice to let me know that he had passed at just a few days old, I just did not know what to say. I did not know how to fix things or make your pain go away...." so I did not come.
Today, as I was processing another friend, who has so many seemingly negative things happening one behind the other during this time from deaths to laid-off, those anxious feelings of knowing that a person could really use a God wink, wanting a win so that their faith could be strengthened in HIm, etc. God reminded me of a lesson learned.....
"G, (in my head He calls me G cause my closest circle does...but I digress😎) G, I don't need you to cover Me, or make excuses for Me, or explain Me, or defend Me, or prove that I am God. I got Me. You do your part and just love like Me."
Back then, I said soooo let's pretend it just the next day after your loss instead of all the months later and I am walking in...(I exit and re-enter)...
With tears in my eyes, "Friend I love you and I am so sorry, so sorry for your loss." Hugs and more hugs and more tears. And that, that alone was enough.
Sometimes jurisdiction, that is enough. Most times jurisdiction, that is enough. Because, the reality is we often don't know exactly what God is doing, we can't explain His why, some stuff really is tough, it doesn't seem to make sense, God could have intervened but didn't in a way that we would like...so on and so forth. And it hurts, it can hurt like crazy-
Unintentionally so, we can damage folk or misrepresent God chunking scriptures and quick church cliches upside folk's heads trying to convince them of something or maybe just convince ourselves....
Sometimes, in the simple ways, we can love just like He loved. Theology explains a variety of reasons why He may have cried; yet, we may never factually know why until we ask Him face to face...in the meantime of this I am sure....when Mary and Martha told Him that their brother Lazarus had died, JESUS WEPT. John 11:35 Periodt!
For the difficult moments that some are having and others will experience, I want to walk more in HIs grace to demonstrate HIs love. The rest jurisdiction, carrying the weight of trying to make sense of it all, pray my strength as I do my best to leave that part up to Him. Perhaps releasing yourself from the weight of trying to give the answer is your prayer too. Let's remember-
He's got the whole world in His hands.
Be safe jurisdiction. Stay safe.
I honor the greatness in you, every aspect.